just sort of here...

there are kind of mixed emotions about this pregnancy. the few people i've told are so shocked. i don't know if it is because of the timing or because it's number three.

i've had this cautious feeling since the beginning like it might not stick. i have no earthly idea why, i mean, i have symptoms- i'm tired, it hurts to nurse...no nausea, but it's still early. i'm not sure how my fitness will play in either. i've been pretty consistently working out for a year, cardio, free weights, i'm wondering if this is affecting how i feel.

and none of this has kept me from telling close friends and family. so i'm not sure where my own feelings of hesitation and caution are coming from. it's kind of got me down actually. i guess there isn't much to do except wait.