finding my way back home...

so sorry dear blog for neglecting you, you are a dear friend. just taking my thoughts, allowing me to express, no expectations...

i've been distracted by livejournal for the last few months. it is a place that has history for me. i just watch and read about other people's (mostly mothers) lives, their experiences, their struggles. the weird things is, i really like all the people individually, but as a collective whole it's a bad match for me. i get all insecure and frustrated, my kids are older, i care about different things, i hate the junior high feel sometimes. it's a good place for some probably, toxic for me. i have almost stopped writing completely, this is not good...it's hard enough for me to write anyway.

so this is a return, a return to art, to thinking outloud with out a need for response or community, at least for right now. some communities are not good for your soul, it's strange because community is such a positive word for me. mmmm...something to ponder.

ugh...my head hurts.