a solemn vow...

jorge and i were up into 1 am deeply involved in a nasty argument. we really do not discuss politics, we haven't for years. everytime we start to it quickly heads south and we agree to not go there. we have survived our political differences through humor, lots of it and jon stewart. i swear to god, the man has helped keep my political marriage together.

so yesterday was a bad day. i didn't feel bitter and angry, just really sad. jorge was trying to respectfully keep his cheerfulness to a minimum around me but i must say by 11pm we were both too tired to use even humor. so i walked down that road (you know the one that always ends up by the river) and drug him with me. he really didn't want to go, but i had to go, it's been so long. i wasn't sorry we talked about it, i guess i was hoping something had changed but it really hasn't.
at one point, the conversation turned personal, "if you want things to change YOU have to do it, not some asshole in washington." the accusation that i am not do anything stung and angered me but secretly i knew he was right.
not that i'm not doing anything, but lately i have been feeling like i am not doing enough. and i certainly was not practicing the tolerance and peace that i have been soapboxing about. we are just so far on some things, it's hard for me to see how we can come together. i guess that is what our country is facing today too. i don't feel like uniting, i feel disappointed but i hope i can figure it out. i hope i can get my head around it.

so we renewed our solemn vow to not discuss politics, to watch some jon stewart, to laugh. it is far from understanding each other but for now i think it is the peace we can do. and whether we agree or not, i am convicted again, pushing me to action. for that, i am grateful to be married to jorge, even if he does occasionally remind me of the other george.