just call me jim...

carville that is, jorge is mary matlin for sure.

how we are living together during this election year i'll never know. it rattles me to think jorge loves that dude. my husband is such an intelligent man, it just doesn't make sense.

jorge did the bed time routine with josiah last night and ended up falling asleep. he missed most of the debate, and i have to say i am secretly glad. whenever we talk politics, he knows just how to push my buttons and i end up ranting and raving much like james. the dinner conversation was the most i could do. i wore my "war is unhealthy for children and other living things" t-shirt to fuddruckers in richmond, virginia. jorge is used to me now, but i could feel the stares in the room. i don't really look like a hippy (i'm really not) either, it's confusing to people i'm sure.

i kinda like to be controversial from time to time but i must admit i do think of beckey every time i put that t-shirt on. her husband was deployed to both afghanistan and iraq. i also think of nicole, an online friend who's husband is in iraq now. i would never want to hurt either of these women.

it doesn't change the truth of the t-shirt though. war is not healthy, no matter how you dice it. i keep thinking of all the possibilities, thinking somehow it can be justified. human beings killing other human beings. how exactly do you point a gun at someone else and pull the trigger, someone else's dad, brother, son. what are you thinking or do you just not think? maybe you just can't think. life, taking life away from someone, how can you really live after that? doesn't it haunt you? even if you feel you did it for a cause? it is so hard for me to understand...i know it is much more complicated than this, i know people are protecting their families, their religion, their freedom, their own lives, the things they hold dear. i'm sure the evil and pain inspires the passion or the desire to fight, but it still feels so sad, so wrong to me. how did we get here?

i am a young, privileged, white woman in america. there is much i do not understand because i have never experienced the pain and hardship like so many others have in this world. but i want to hold to the ideal that war is not the answer, at least not the first. i want to understand, i want to know more, it pains me to think we are hurting each other.

it's jimmy carter's birthday today. this gives me hope. this man actively pursues peace. his heart is genuine and kind. he serves others in the most unassuming way. and he hasn't stopped, at 80, he hasn't given up. he hasn't become cynical or jaded, he just keeps working. which is so much more important than wearing a t-shirt or arguing politics over a burger. the hope lies in people's action...i wanna be jim, carter that is.