the contender

i will have to admit, i really love reality (or not that real) television. my dear husband, not so much, but he dutifully tivo's things for me as an act of pure love. surprisingly, he was very interested in watching the contender and of course it took very little convincing for me to add yet another show to my repertoire.

what strikes me about this show is the women and their strength. it seems most of the men that were in serious relationships drew strength from these very supportive women.

jorge and i laughed tonight as the young achmed was not humbled (in his mind) by his loss. his girlfriend however, looked less than thrilled. all i could imagine was kelly preston in jerry maguire, "you're not a loser!". that dude is so dumped...

but when that woman in the interview said that supporting and believing in each other no matter what is just being part of a team, i cried like a baby. i so want to be a team in my marriage, i so hope those men are supporting those women when it's their turn to fight. whatever their fight may be.

today, i feel like i am fighting my mind. my worry, the unrest in my heart about this pregnancy. i really can't tell why i feel this way, other than to say that i am probably royally fucked up in the head. i think i'm have flashbacks, the last time i traveled this early in a pregnancy i had a miscarriage scare. i moved up my midwife appointment to ease my mind. i guess i am my own contender tonight....