Thursday, June 01, 2006

525,600 minutes....

so i'm incredibly behind on my broadway musicals but in my heart, i am a true blue believer. anything that involves cheesy music, over-acting and jazz hands has me to my core. even right now, this very moment, i am listening to newsies while i write this post. if you even know what i am talking about, you are my best friend forever....

open the gates and seize the day friends....seize the day!

you can imagine my excitement when someone mentioned to me that the choir at church was singing seasons of love from the play RENT last sunday. i ducked out of a room of crying children to catch the song.

the choir had a little light in their eyes and a tiny hop in that sway they do when they sing. they looked particularly excited to be singing a different sort of anthem, not just happy for themselves but hopeful for the people they were singing to. it was an intergenerational choir- babies to old people. i liked that.
525,600 minutes…how do you measure a year? in daylight, in sunsets or cups of coffee. how about love? measure our lives in love…
the song rang through my head all day long. i woke up the next morning and downloaded the song, i walked to my movie store and rented the movie version. measure my life in love?

there are so many to love. people I know, people I don’t know, big people, little people and everything in between, people of different races, cultures, creeds…and the even greater question? how well do I love myself?

i embrace this anthem and make it my little theme song for my life this week. i pretend i very tragically have aids or some terminal illness (just like the play) and think what about what i want to be known for. i call my sister and insist that we must measure our lives by love. all forms, all ways…love through art, through beauty, through hope and the list goes on.

and then I remember what love looks like in my everyday life…

love means…

playing lots more lego star wars computer game (i’ve been told i’m not a very good jumper but i should keep trying)
not freaking out when jack “accidentally” licks me- nothing grosses me out more
holding lucy more
choosing to receive the intention of my boss’ heart and accept what he is capable of
doing the wash for my husband
keeping the massage appointment for myself even though it is an ungodly amount of money
writing the next zine that is in my heart
giving myself over to art, believing my voice is still there
going to see ruth (my old lady neighbor)
start planning that white water rafting trip for my 30th
maybe enrolling my kid in the ghetto school
calling my dad...

may the caterpillars in my yard feel my sheer delight in them, may my children experience the intense joy i feel for them by long pillow fights and popsicles on the porch, may the people at my church know the depth of my spiritual hope even if i struggle with the institution, may my husband somehow share my deep happiness in living our everyday lives together...may i measure my life in love.